We thought the best and laziest way for us to re-introduce “In The Rough” was to re-print a “gem” from way back in 2009. Oddly enough, to me this is all still seems relevant.
Now on the Tee From Pawleys Island, South Carolina……..
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I’m on the hot seat …. I’ve been told by my editor that if I don’t start writing again, I’m in big trouble.
Dear readers,
I know what you are thinking ….this goon has an editor? How much trouble could he get into for not writing this blog? As a matter of fact, I would probably be doing you a favor by not posting this drivel.
But here goes nothing! If I were PGA TOUR Commissioner for a day…………….
In the real world, this should happen. In my fantasy world, this should happen. Either way probably not happening…….
Real World. 30-event regular season. Every qualified player has to play 25 events. The five events you miss have to be played next year. I don’t care if the 150th ranked player on tour doesn’t get to play every event, do you? I want to see Tiger and Phil and the rest of the top guys killing each other every week like they do in every other damn sport!
Fantasy World: Female Caddies. Need I say more, but I will… NFL Cheerleaders, Laker Girls, Beach Volleyball. Sex sells. Let’s get over ourselves. If we didn’t like it, none of us would be here. By the way, caddy overalls will be stylishly altered to accentuate the “personality” of the ladies.
Real World: 54-hole cuts instead of 36. Give the players a chance to play their way into or out of a payday. Too many players coast after they make the 36-hole cut. Make them work a little harder and longer for the payday.
Fantasy World: Uniforms for all players on all tours. Don’t laugh, every other sport has their players, drivers, horses identified by name and number or both. How is a casual golf fan supposed to tell who is who without names and numbers on their shirts? Think of how many whatever numbered Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson shirts you could sell! Because, right now nobody is buying the skin-tight, nipple popper shirts Phil is sporting these days, not to mention the licensing agreements. Got your attention now Commissioner Finchem?
Real World: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, schedule an event during a Major Week. I found it incredibly annoying that the PGA TOUR schedules an event opposite The Open Championship every year. What message are we sending to the players who didn’t qualify for the major? Yeah, you weren’t good enough to qualify for this major so we’ll give you a chance to make some serious cash playing against other chops while nobody is watching. Seems a little lame to me.
Fantasy World: A shotclock. Golf takes too long. Basketball, Football and I suspect baseball will come up with some version of a pitch clock soon. Why not golf? While were at it, all balls within 2 feet of hole cannot be marked or cleaned. Hammer the damn thing in the back of the cup and get the hell out of the way! Did I mention female caddies?
Thanks for reading and playing along in the past, look forward to more maniacal musings starting Fall of 2014! Go Play Golf America!
Cheers,
Bob Seganti, PGA